The term "self-care" is thrown around the internet and social media platforms frequently. Often it can feel confusing because self-care can look indulgent or a tool to use only when you are overwhelmed.
Self-care doesn't have to be a go-to only once you are overwhelmed. And my question to you is... what's wrong with being indulgent? You are worth it!
Self-care gets to be a way of life. Grinding your way to "the top" is not necessary -you can self-care your way to "the top" -regardless of what others are doing. The more you take care of yourself, the easier it will be to get to "the top" -whatever that definition is for you (another blog for another time).
When you take care of yourself, you will have more energy, more motivation, less stress (which equals better health), and be more authentic and congruent - because self-care is more than just face masks and lemon water. Self-care is doing the inner work. It's is the ability to recognize what is for you, what is not for you, what is energizing, what is draining...and adjusting appropriately.
Self-care can look like therapy.
Self-care can look like journaling.
Self-care can look like assertiveness.
Self-care can look like communication.
Self-care can look like a vacation.
Self-care can look like a staycation.
Self-care can look like challenging yourself.
Self-care can look like taking a step back.
Self-care can look like taking a leap of faith.
Self-care can look like taking a look at things that cause you anxiety -like finances and figuring out a plan.
Self-care can look like throwing old beliefs out the window that no longer serve you.
Self-care can look like a really hard conversation.
Self-care can look like binging Netflix and eating your weight in ice cream, guilt free (this is my personal favorite form of self-care, though I won't turn my nose at an all-inclusive vacation).
It can also look like...
...indulging in delicious food or eating more fruits and veggies.
...face masks and booking massages or it can look like exercising.
...taking a deep breath and positive self-talk or it can look like tackling the biggest thing on your to-do list.
...staying up late or going to bed early.
...cleaning the house or choosing to let the dishes pile up.
...forcing yourself to not hit snooze so you can get up and work out or it can look like hitting snooze and skipping your workout.
It looks like different things at different times.
It isn't one size fits all. Self-care is personal. You have to get to know yourself and give yourself permission to enjoy life, to rest, relax, and do the things you want to do.
You do not have to earn your self-care.
You don't need to workout really hard to earn a massage.
You don't need to wear yourself out to earn a day off.
You don't need an overloaded plate to delegate.
You don't need to work overtime to take a vacation.
You don't need to go to work or school sick, tired, or on the verge of a breakdown.
Sometimes, yes, life will require a full plate, some overtime, or working when you really desire a day off. And self-care can help get you through that.
Self-care is an equation YOU get to work out for yourself.
Let's use me as an example:
I am a person who's energy wanes. I require alone time and a lot of down time. I like to take short cuts and find the easy way of doing things -and in my opinion, why wouldn't you want to do that if it gets you the same result? Relaxing could be my middle name, if I didn't like my middle name so much. I don't enjoy overworking and being overtired and if I am, I will not function well. Self-care is a way of life for me in order to be a functional human being - it has to be.
I have always envied people who have a lot of energy and a "go-go-go" type of personality. And I think they envy people like me, who are able to sit down and relax. Self-care for the "go-go-go" type of person might actually look different than self-care for me.
Their self-care might look like booking personal appointments they've been putting off due to a full plate. My self-care might involve cancelling personal appointments due to a full plate.
Their self-care might look like forcing themselves to slow down and my self-care might look like tackling my to-do list.
The entire point is to live a life you don't need a vacation from, a life that feels fulfilling and good to you.
Use the images below as prompts for defining and finding your own personal equation for self-care. Feel free to share what you com up with in the comments, or if you are a client, we can talk more about it in our next session! Cheers, and happy self-caring!
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