How do you know if you're making the right choice? Tips for overcoming your fear of making mistakes.

A topic that has seemed to come up lately is fear of making the wrong choices when we come to a fork in the road. So I thought I might share how I view opportunities and big life changes... or even small choices!

What if I'm wrong?

Often time we feel afraid to make a mistake. This can manifest through perfectionism, stagnation, or feeling so afraid to make a mistake that one just gives up (learned helplessness).

But for those of you who remember my "What it means to be human" post, it's normal to make mistakes and I think mistakes are necessary. Mistakes are how we learn, how we grow, how we gain data and make choices.

You Can't Get It Wrong

Now, let me introduce a "mantra" so to speak that gives me comfort when I am at a crossroads. "You can't get it wrong." Assuming we are living at least moral lives and aren't out murdering people or other horrendous acts, I love this idea. I can't get it wrong.

Fork in the road

The way I see life is that in front of us at any given moment in time there are infinite possibilities that exist. Let's say you're sitting at home, working from your laptop. You could... call a friend, close your laptop and say "f--- it," get your work done, quit, dance, stretch, book a flight to Hawaii (take me please!), go to the bathroom, get a snack.... the list goes on. Life is also like that when we also enter a fork in the road. We could choose A or B... or C or D or any other route. And any route would be acceptable. And so how do we know which one to choose? Well sometimes, we just need to choose. Or sometimes, we need to play out each scenario and try to predict how we will feel. And other times, we simply need to follow our heart. Sometimes we need to wait before we make a decision. Ultimately, we can learn to tune into ourselves to make the choice that is most right for you in this moment.

Let's us an example: Let's say you have an opportunity in another state and you have always wanted to move. "But will it be right? This is a big change? I really want to take this opportunity but, what if it isn't right? What if I'm unhappy?" And my response is this: So what you move? If you hate it, move back! And what if you love it? What if you followed your heart hear and learned this is what you really wanted?! And, what if you followed your heart here and decide this isn't what you wanted and you move back and gain a deep appreciation for home. Either way, it got you to where you needed to be that you might not have gotten to had you stayed.

Life is ripe with opportunity. Most important is to learn about yourself, search your heart, and line up with your values. Sometimes we even need to break our own rules -how gratifying it is to break a rule that's been holding us back.

The Choice is Yours

We tend to take life very seriously, but this is just life and it's for us to decide how WE want to live it. And when you decide how you want to live it, identify your fears and decide ways to OVERCOME them rather than allow them to hold you back.

Don't feel capable enough? Trust you can learn.

Fear other people's judgements? Trust their judgements will only hold you back and make you unhappy and resentful of them.

Fear making a mistake? Learn to lean into the idea of "failing forward."

My desire for you

I want for you to be able to own who you are and follow your heart, enjoying the ride along the way. I want you to dare to be different, dare to face your fears, dare to be yourself, and laugh a lot. You are capable of the life YOU YOURSELF desire to live and you are capable of making choices big and small that help you get to where it is you are going. And, the path may be riddled with weeds or obstacles, but you are capable of handling those, rerouting if you so desire, and figuring it out. Confidence isn't the idea that you are 100% certain it's the right choice. Confidence is trusting yourself to figure it out.

Journal prompt:
Identify a time in your life you had to make a choice you were worried about making - what happened? Where did the path take you? If the path was indeed wrong, what did it reveal to you?